Questions With The Teen Wolf Characters!
by I-live-off-of-Scotty's-smile
Summary: I kidnap the Teen Wolf characters and ask them questions. Bad summary, but you should still read it.
1. Chapter 1

**Hello there, Lexi here! I am going to be asking the Teen Wolf characters some questions. Now, before I beg-**

 **Derek: Wait, characters?**

 **Stiles: How dare you!**

 **Scott: How rude.**

 **Stiles: Shut up, Scott. Sorry, he's been binge watching Full House. He thinks it's funny.**

 **Scott: It is funny!**

 **Liam: Yo!**

 **Lexi: Liam, when did you get here?**

 **Liam: I don't know. But, I know why I came! Lexi does not own Teen Wolf, Jeff Davis does!**

 **Lexi: Thank you, dear boy. Now enough of this, read!**

Lexi: Okay, first question. It's pretty simple. What is your favorite color?

Stiles: I like green.

Allison: Light blue.

Scott: Red. Red is cool. Red is fierce! Like me!

Stiles: I hope you're kidding. You are the biggest baby I've ever seen.

Scott: What are you talking about? I'm awesome! I'm bad!

Stiles: I can literally see you right now, and you're eating cookie dough. You're argument is false.

Scott: Whatever.

Derek: Where are we? Why am I here?

Lexi: You're in my mind. And for future reference, Derek, I will be the one to ask the questions.

Derek: *glares* I like black.

Stiles: Just like his soul. See Scotty? That's how you make a joke.

Lexi: Okay! Next question! What is your favorite animal?

Scott: Puppies!

Lydia: Same.

Stiles: I don't really like canines anymore, so I guess a cat.

Derek: Iguana.

Scott: Derek, what the heck.

Derek: What?

Isaac: I like dogs. I'm so basic.

Stiles: Isaac, you white girl.

Lexi: One more question, then we will be done for today!

Derek: Thank God.

Lexi: Derek, that attitude will get you nowhere.

Derek: I will kill you.

Lexi: I'm going to pretend like I didn't hear that. What is you're favorite food?

Allison: I like strawberries.

Lydia: Chocolate.

Stiles: Cheeseburgers.

Isaac: I really, really like macaroni and cheese. It just, gets me.

Scott: Isaac, you're a weird little fella. I like chocolate too.

Derek: The souls of my victims.

Stiles: *chokes* WhAt

Jackson: When did I get here?

Liam: I've just kinda been chilling, listening to everybody's answers.

Jackson: Who the heck is Lexi?

Lexi: Just this weird girl, I wouldn't hang out with her if I were you. She's super crazy. She really needs to chill.

Jackson: *silence*

Jackson: You're Lexi.

Lexi: *smiles*

Lexi: Okay! That's it for today! You can all leave now!

Derek: *runs*

Scott: Bye!

Stiles: Scott, quit being creepy.

Scott: I'm just being nice.

Stiles: Let's just go.

Allison: I feel like I've been violated?

Lydia: Same.


	2. Chapter 2

**Lexi: I am back! With more questions too! And before anyone interrupts me, like last time, I will do the disclaimer. I do not own Teen Wolf, Jeff Davis does!**

 **Stiles: Who the heck is Jeff Davis?**

 **Scott: Is he like, a cult leader or something? You keep on saying he owns us.**

 **Stiles:... Scott are you okay?**

 **Scott: Yeah, why?**

 **Stiles: You just- oh, never mind. Can we just get on with the questions, please? I'm ready to get this over with.**

 **Lexi: Gladly. Let us begin.**

Lexi: First question of the day! Who is your favorite person in this room?

Stiles: Scotty! Sorry, he's my bro.

Scott: I'm sorry, Allison. But, Stiles...

Allison: Scott, you traitor. I pick Lydia.

Lydia: Ali.

Allison: Hoes before bros. *fistbumps Lydia*

Derek: Isaac. He was my first beta.

Isaac: Scott.

Stiles: Back off, Lahey.

Isaac: *raises hands in a surrendering gesture*

Liam: Scott! He's my alpha.

Scott: I love you too, son.

Stiles: Does that mean I'm your mom?

Liam: No.

Scott: Don't talk to you're mother that way!

Jackson: I don't like any of you.

Stiles: That's not fair. You have to answer.

Jackson: *sighs* Fine. Liam. I don't know him, but I already like him better than any of you losers.

Liam: Who are you?

Jackson: Jackson.

Liam: Okay. That got me nowhere. Lexi, who is your favorite person here?

Lexi: Scott.

Scott: I am on fire today!

Stiles: No, you're not.

Lexi: Next question! Who is your least favorite person here?

Scott: Jackson.

Jackson: Scott.

Stiles: Derek.

Derek: Stiles.

Isaac: I don't really know. I guess Lexi?

Lexi: Thank you.

Allison: Derek.

Derek: *rolls eyes*

Lydia: I don't know either. I feel like this is ruining our friendship. But, I guess Malia.

Stiles: Malia isn't here.

Lydia: I know. And if any of you tell her I said that, I swear to God I'll kill you.

Everyone: Yes ma'am.

Lexi: Next! Okay.. The next question is... How do you want to die?

Stiles: What kind of a question is that?

Lexi: A dark one.

Stiles. Well, you're not wrong. I guess in the heat of the moment? Like, in battle?

Scott: Same, Stiles. Or old age.

Isaac: In the comfort of my own home, watching Netflix.

Allison: I love Stranger Things!

Isaac: I've watched it so many times!

Allison: I know, it's so good! I can't wait for season two!

Lydia: I hate to break up whatever that is, but I want to die of old age.

Allison: I want to die in battle. And I want to be surrounded by the people I love.

Scott: I'm getting a little sad.

Liam: Same. I want to die with my mother and father. AKA Scott and Stiles.

Scott & Stiles: Son!

Jackson: I don't want to die.

Stiles: Then don't.

Jackson: ... Okay.

Derek: I want to die happy. With my pack.

Stiles: You love us Derek, don't you?

Derek: I meant my new pack. I'm killing you all.

Scott: He totally loves us.

Stiles: Totally.

Isaac: And you said I was a white girl.

Lexi: Last question! If you could be any animal, what would you be?

Stiles: A bird of some sort. So I could fly away from this town.

Scott: I'd be a wolf. I feel like I'd be good at it.

Stiles: Dead^

Scott: See? I can be funny!

Stiles: It's rare.

Derek: I'd be a wolf too.

Isaac: I want to be a gorilla.

Stiles: God, I hated that meme.

Isaac: #RIPmybrotherharambe.

Allison: I'd be a predator. Like a lioness.

Lydia: I'd be a dove.

Stiles: I'd be a dove if you were a dove, Lydia.

Scott: So are you two a thing now?

Stiles: I hope.

Allison: Finally!

Scott: Allison, Isaac owes us five dollars!

Isaac: No he doesn't.

Allison: Oh yeah! Pay up, Lahey.

Lydia: ...Since when did me and Stiles get together?

Scott: Dang! Sorry, Isaac!

Allison: Don't apologize. We might be seen as weak.

Scott: I'm just being nice.

Allison: Being nice is a weakness.

Scott: Okay.

Lexi: Okay, you can all go home now. Get outta my head!


	3. Chapter 3

**Hello, I am back with new questions for the pack! And also, Scotty, what do you have to say?**

 **Scott: Leave a review, and favorite her "story". I don't know what that means, Lexi.**

 **Lexi: That's okay. Stiles, what did I tell you to say?**

 **Stiles: Tell Lexi what questions you want her to ask us. Oh, and she doesn't own "Teen Wolf". I don't know what that is, but this dude named Jeff Davis apparently owns it.**

 **Lexi: Thank you, both. Now, onward with the questions!**

Lexi: If you were stranded on an island, who would you bring?

Stiles: Allison.

Scott: Allison. And Stiles, what?

Stiles: I figured she'd protect me with her ninja skills, and cook me food.

Allison: I am not your slave.

Stiles: Well, lucky for us we aren't going to be stuck on an island anytime soon.

Derek: Isaac. He's the least annoying.

Isaac: Thanks!

Derek: Nevermind, I pick Scott.

Scott: Ha!

Allison: I'd take Scott.

Lydia: Stiles, I feel like I wouldn't get bored with him. He'd be funny.

Stiles: You think I'm funny?!

Lydia: ...no.

Scott: Stydia, man.

Allison: I ship it.

Liam: I'd take my mother, Stiles.

Scott: Son, I am offended.

Liam: I'm sorry, father. But, mother says she'd take away my allowance if I didn't say him.

Stiles: You weren't supposed to tell them that!

Lydia: Liam has an allowance?

Stiles: You weren't supposed to tell them that either!

Liam: Sorry.

Jackson: I'd take Derek. He'd bring me food.

Lexi: Next question! What is your least favorite food?

Scott: Sushi.

Stiles: Grapes.

Allison: You don't like grapes?

Stiles: Nope.

Allison: Weird. I don't like tomatoes.

Lydia: Cheese. It grosses me out.

Stiles: Cheese is a gift from the Gods, and I'm sorry Lydia, but this relationship isn't going to work out if you don't like cheese.

Scott: Stydia!

Allison: Stydia!

Lydia: We aren't even dating!

Scott: Mission failed, we'll get 'em next time.

Allison: Hey, it's gonna happen!

Liam: I don't like peanut butter.

Scott: You are not my son.

Liam: Ew, you like peanut butter?

Scott: Yes! Go to your room!

Liam: I can't! We're in Lexi's head!

Scott: Oh yeah.

Stiles: I'm with Scott on this one. Lexi, I demand you let Liam go!

Lexi: Not until the questions are answered!

Stiles: Fine! But when we get outta here, you are going to your room! And you're grounded!

Liam: But mom!

Stiles: No buts!

Derek: I don't like cauliflower.

Isaac: Who does? I don't like ranch. I despise ranch. I want to burn every ranch bottle I see.

Scott: You are weird. Ranch is good. But not by itself, but like, on a salad or something.

Stiles: Ranch and I have a bad history.

Scott: I don't want to know.

Jackson: Probably fish.

Liam: I understand that actually. Is it the smell?

Jackson: And the texture, the taste, everything.

Lexi: One last question for today! What is your favorite show?

Allison: Stranger Things!

Isaac: Same! Hopper is my favorite!

Allison: El is for me. Hopper is definitely Eleven's dad.

Isaac: That's what I was thinking. I mean, she's bald? His daughter had cancer? It's so obvious!

Allison: I know!

Scott: I like Breaking Bad.

Stiles: Judge Judy.

Scott: Stiles, my mom watches that show.

Stiles: So? Judge Judy is my spirit animal! Cancel being a dove with Lydia, if I was an animal I'd be Judge Judy!

Lydia: I feel offended.

Derek: I don't watch TV.

Stiles: You're missing out, bud.

Derek: It rots the brain.

Scott: It does not! Look at me! I'm super smart!

Stiles: Ignore him, Derek. Look at me instead, or Lydia.

Lydia: I don't really watch TV either. But I do remember watching Spongebob while growing up.

Allison: Spongebob is awesome. Well, it used to be. The old Spongebob was the good Spongebob.

Jackson: As much as I hate to say it, but I watch football games the most.

Everyone but Derek: *gasp*

Jackson: I know.

Liam: My favorite show is Breaking Bad too!

Scott: You are my son again!

Lexi: That's all folks!

Stiles: Did she seriously just say a Looney Tunes reference?

Scott: I love Bugs Bunny!


	4. Chapter 4

**Lexi: I'm back! And so are my slav- I mean guests! I do not own Teen Wolf, the amazing Jeff Davis does! Also, leave a review. I love them!**

 **Isaac: Why did you say that so fast?**

 **Lexi: So no one could interrupt me. Anyway, enjoy!**

Lexi: First question. Who is most likely to get arrested?

Stiles: I feel like I would.

Derek: Stiles. No doubt.

Scott: I don't know you guys, I'm thinking Jackson.

Stiles: You've got a point.

Allison: Even if he did get arrested, his parents would bail him out.

Scott: Allison, I didn't know you were such a savage!

Jackson: I have been arrested before.

Liam: What did you do?

Jackson: I'm not telling you!

Stiles: Ah, come on!

Jackson: Nope.

Isaac: Then I'll tell them that one thing you told me.

Jackson: You wouldn't.

Isaac: Try me.

Jackson: Fine! I took my dad's car out when I was 14, and I got pulled over. I was speeding like crazy, and I would have stayed in jail for the night. But, my parents came and... bailed me out.

Everyone: *laughing*

Stiles: That's hilarious!

Scott: I can see that happening so perfectly in my mind!

Isaac: What were you thinking?

Jackson: I don't know, I thought I would be cool.

Stiles: You were wrong.

Lexi: Next! If you had to pick one person in here to die, who would it be?

Scott: I don't like this question.

Lydia: Same.

Stiles: When did you get here?

Lydia: Oh, I've been here.

Allison: Derek?

Derek: Allison.

Scott: Jackson.

Stiles: Derek.

Jackson: McCall.

Liam: I guess I'd die, because I don't want any of you to die.

Scott: Okay, now I feel bad.

Stiles: Same. Liam, you're grounded.

Lydia: Lexi.

Lexi: Hey!

Lydia: What? You're not my friend!

Lexi: I understand.

Lexi: Final question! Would you rather lick the bottom of Peter's foot, or eat Kate's hair. All of it.

Allison: Um, I am not going to eat my aunt's hair.

Stiles: What kind of a question is that?

Scott: A weird one. A disgusting one. Why are we here?

Lexi: For the last time, I kidnapped you all! Now, answer the question.

Scott: ...I guess eat Kate's hair.

Jackson: I'm not licking some weirdo's feet. I'll eat the hair.

Lydia: Hair.

Derek. I don't like this question.

Stiles: I don't think anyone does.

Derek: ...lick Peter's foot.

Everyone: *looks at Derek disgusted*

Derek: He's my uncle! And Kate killed almost my entire family, so I am not eating her hair.

Liam: I don't know who either of those people are, but since everybody is choosing the hair thing, so will I.

Isaac: Kate's hair. I am disgusted that Lexi came up with this question.

Stiles: ...wait. Does that mean that Allison is going to lick Peter's foot?

Allison: *silence*

Stiles: Ew!

Scott: Ali! No!

Allison: ...I'm sorry, but I'm not eating any hair.

Lexi: Okay, before anyone starts to throw up, you can all leave.

Allison: *sprints*

Scott: I can't believe this!


	5. Chapter 5

**Lexi: I don't own Teen Wolf, or any of it's characters. Jeff Davis does! And one more thing, don't forget to review! Ask them any questions you'd like, and they will answer in the future chapters. And now, Stiles will proceed to read the card I gave him.**

 **Stiles: *squints eyes* No werewolf, or human, has been harmed in the making of this fanfic. What is that again?**

 **Lexi: Not important. Now, read on!**

Lexi: First question of the day! Ah, this is a good one. What weird food combinations do you really enjoy?

Scott: I used to eat peanut butter and pickle sandwiches, like, everyday when I was little.

Stiles: You disgust me. The only thing worthy enough to be with peanut butter is chocolate.

Liam: I hate peanut butter.

Stiles: You're phone will be taken away for two weeks if you keep talking in such a manner.

Allison: I like Oreos with orange juice.

Derek: Figures.

Isaac: I eat Cheetos with pickle juice.

Jackson: What is the deal with pickles today?

Scott: They're good.

Jackson: Cheese and Jelly sandwiches are good.

Lydia: I hate cheese. It's disgusting. I like peanut butter with bacon.

Scott: See Liam? All the cool kids are eating peanut butter these days.

Stiles: You're not cool, though.

Scott: I am too!

Stiles: I don't want to have this conversation again. Next question!

Lexi: What movie can you watch over-and-over without getting tired of it?

Scott: Finding Nemo!

Stiles: Scott, you're such a softy.

Scott: How many times do I hav-

Liam: Donny Darko.

Jackson: That movie was good. A lot better than the Notebook.

Lydia: The Notebook!

Allison: I cry every single time.

Stiles: Any of the Star Wars movies. I can binge watch them over-and-over, and I'd never get tired of them.

Derek: I like Chicken Little.

Stiles: WHAT.

Derek: It's a good movie, Stiles!

Allison: I liked Spirit a lot while growing up.

Isaac: That horse movie?

Allison: Yeah, I had like, ten different copies of it because they always got so scratched.

Isaac: I like Captain America: Civil War.

Stiles: DC is better.

Isaac: No way, dude.

Scott: What team were you on?

Isaac: Team Cap.

Lexi: Team Tony!

Isaac: Get outta my sight!

Lexi: NEXT QUESTION!

Lexi: What is the last photo you took?

Scott & Stiles: *laughing*

Derek: What?

Scott: The last picture I took was on Snapchat. Stiles and I did the face switch filter.

Stiles: That was mine too.

Allison: *looking through her phone* For some reason, my last picture was of Mr. Bear.

Jackson: Who's Mr. Bear?

Allison: No one.

Jackson: *also looking through his phone*This is just a picture of a lacrosse helmet.

Liam: It's a picture of Derek!

Derek: Let me see that!

Liam: *hands his phone to Derek*

Derek: What the heck!

Everyone else: Let us see!

The image was an unflattering picture of Derek, sleeping on the couch. He had two chins, and his mouth was hanging open. He was also holding a pillow like he would a teddy bear.

Everyone: *laughs*

Derek: Why are you taking pictures of me sleeping?

Stiles: Do not chastise my son that way, Hale! Liam, darling, you are not grounded anymore.

Liam: Thank you, father.

Lydia: This is just me at the pool.

Isaac: For some reason I took a picture of a Subway.

Lexi: *looking to the side* Okay, that's all the questions for today! Until next time!

Stiles: Who is she talking to?


	6. Chapter 6

**Lexi: Okay! We are officially back, with new questions for our dear guests! Now, if each one of you would read the card I gave you. Liam, you start.**

 **Liam: Please review. What does that mean?**

 **Scott: Please...favorite? I'm not sure what this says, this is terrible handwriting.**

 **Derek: *silence***

 **Lexi: Derek?**

 **Derek: *hiss***

 **Lexi: Okay. Please give your card to Lydia.**

 **Lydia: Please add me in your "Favorite Authors" list. What is going on?**

 **Stiles: Lexi does not own Teen Wolf, Jeff Davis does. Will someone please tell me who Jeff Davis is? And what is Teen Wolf?**

 **Lexi: No further questions, except for the ones I ask you. Enjoy!**

Lexi: Alright, here we go! First question. Actually, this question was submitted by somebody. It's another Would You Rather question!

Derek: *rolls eyes* Just get on with it.

Lexi: Fine. Would you rather use sandpaper as toilet paper, or hot sauce as eye drops?

Stiles: Whoever submitted this question is disturbing.

Liam: I guess the sandpaper. I feel like if I wiped gently, it wouldn't be as bad.

Scott: Son, go to bed. Your scaring me.

Stiles: I think are son was the person who sent this question in.

Allison: I don't know you guys, Liam has a point.

Isaac: I agree. Liam is on to something.

Liam: Thank you. At least someone isn't disappointed in me.

Derek: Tip for everyone: Don't put hot sauce in your eyes.

Jackson: Did you actually...?

Derek: It was a bet.

Stiles: I feel like I should be proud, but I'm disappointed in you, Derek.

Lydia: I've done it too. Sixth grade. Slumber party.

Stiles: Not you too!

Scott & Allison: *giggling*

Lexi: So, does everyone agree with the sandpaper as toilet paper thing?

Everyone: *nods*

Lexi: Fantastic! Moving on!

Lexi: This is another Would You Rather question, but it is submitted by a different reader this time. Oh no. It's even worse than the last one. Would you rather *gulps* pry your finger nail off with a fork or put a toothpick in your toenails and kick a wall?

Everyone: *cringes/screams*

Lexi: I know. Just answer.

Scott: T-The finger nail with a fork thing. *cringes*

Stiles: Can we go home early?

Lexi: Sorry, we still have one more question to ask.

Everyone: *groans*

Lydia: I'd kick a wall. I don't want to lose a whole fingernail.

Allison: I can't. I have to choose the fingernail with a fork one.

Stiles: I'm with Lydia. I can't stand the thought of pulling off my fingernail with a freaking fork. Nope.

Jackson: I don't care, I'm choosing the fingernail one.

Liam: *sways while looking green*

Scott: My son is sick, and he needs rest. We have to go home early.

Stiles: Yes. Come on, Liam. You must feel horrible.

Lexi: You can't leave yet.

Scott & Stiles: *screams*

Derek: Fingernail. I am not kicking a wall with a toothpick in my toenail.

Lexi: Next question!

Stiles: Thank God.

Lexi: Oh, would you look at that. Another Would You Rather question. Would you rather have cheeto dust on your fingers for the rest of your life, or a popcorn kernel stuck in the back of your throat until you die?

Everyone: Cheese dust, that's not a bad thing!

Lexi: Agreed. That's my favorite part about eating Cheetos.

Scott: Same. It's like a reward.

Stiles: I get a little sad when I lick it all off.

Isaac: Imagine, never ending Cheeto dust on your fingers. You have a snack wherever you go!

Derek: Whoever sent this in is stupid.

Lexi: You can all leave now! Bye! Safe travels!

Everyone: *leaps*

Stiles: I keep thinking about the second question, Scott.

Scott: Don't let them get to you.


	7. Chapter 7

**Lexi: Oh. Oh my. I took a bit longer to update didn't I? Well, in my defense... Yeah, I've got nothing. Sorry!**

 **Stiles: Who is she apologizing to?**

 **Scott: Why is she whispering?**

 **Isaac: Does she know that we can hear her?**

 **Derek: Has she forgotten that we're werewolves?**

 **Lexi: Oh crap! Liam, do the thing!**

 **Liam: ?**

 **Allison: I think I know what she's talking about. Lexi does not own Teen Wolf, Jerry Fungus does. Oh, and she wants you to review.**

 **Lexi: Jeff Davis, not Jerry Fungus!**

 **Allison: Oh, haha.**

 **Lexi: Whatever, let's just start.**

Lexi: First question! If you could choose any other name, what would it be?

Isaac: Derek.

Derek: What the heck.

Scott: I like the name Mark.

Stiles: You are a disturbed one.

Jackson: I like my name. I would choose "Jackson".

Allison: Me too, Allison just fits me.

Lydia: I would choose...maybe...? I like my name.

Liam: Same here.

Stiles: I would choose Stiles as my real name.

Lexi: Your parents did a great job at picking out your names. Next!

Lexi: Who is your favorite Kardashian, or Jenner?

Scott: Khloe. Definitely.

Stiles: Kendall.

Derek: Kourtney.

Isaac: Kylie.

Jackson: ...You dweeps watch their show?

Scott & Stiles: Yeah.

Derek: Me and Isaac got into it when Cora was here. She watched it.

Liam: I only know Kim very well. So, I guess her?

Lydia: Khloe.

Allison: Kendall.

Lexi: Grand! My favorite is Khloe, by the way. Final question!

Lexi: How many kids do you want to have.

Allison: I was thinking maybe thr-

Scott: Ten!

Allison: *chokes*

Lydia: Two.

Stiles: Two.

Scott & Allison: Love! Stydia love!

Lydia: We aren't dating!

Stiles: We could be.

Scott: AHHH! Allison, it's happening! You know the drill!

Allison: Stop, drop, and roll?

Scott: No, the other one.

Allison: Break down and cry?

Scott: That's the one. *cries*

Allison: *cries*

Derek: I grew up with a lot of kids in my house, so maybe eight?

Isaac: One. One is enough.

Liam: I ain't getting married.

Lexi: Thank you all for participating! Until next time, bye!

 _Meanwhile..._

Scott: Allison, it's happening!

Allison: Cry, until you've ran out of tears.

Scott & Allison: *sobs*


End file.
